Today is the 5th anniversary of the passing of my oldest son, Nathan. He would want me to be strong…to laugh, to free myself from the stuff that has hurt us all. And I am….But I cry also..because I miss him…
But my little one is married and soon to be a father…and me a grandfather… Life has a way of moving us toward that Place, where we can Be. The lessons learned from the passing of my son are overwhelming sometimes…but lessons they are. And we let go…and move on.
A virtual big hug to you from all of us here.
~reblogged by Trent Gilliss, senior editor
I have two young sons and couldn’t help but tear and feel the immense loss of a Tumblr friend I’ve never met. Sure, we can be strong and move on but love is so intense, and regret so present, that death of a child must be an awful thing. I lost my father when I was five and thought I never knew him, but memories of him pop into my mind once in a while. My two sons remind me of how much I must have loved him and how much I must have known him. I previously thought, 'Ah, how much can a five-year-old child know.' A hell of a lot; the pain never leaves and neither does the love. When I do certain things that I can’t explain or pin on an observed behavior of my maternal side, I think, 'I wonder if Vern did that too? Did I get that from my father?'
I wish I knew, but I hope my sons can feel the line of that ancestry from the Labers and the Mullenbergs and now the Gillisses. God bless him and parkstepp.